Dandioy's Diary | Of mental struggles and responsibilities (020317)

It has been a while since I have written a diary entry, but here it is, unfortunately it is a sad one.

Another thing that happened to me this week is that I was given a huge responsibility in a committee. I promised to take that obligation even though I knew that with this responsibility I will have no free time for myself. I have no peace in my heart for almost a week. With that responsibility, I would not be able to write my blog anymore or even draw for my facebook page. So I wrote a long message to the leader and declined the position. The moment I sent the message, I immediately felt a sense of relief in my heart. I've learnt how important it is to say no to things. Say no to emotionally draining people, say no to people who only want to use you, say no to people who are making you do things that you don't need to do. Just fxxking say no.

With all those emotions and mental struggles, I felt ill and weak today during Physiology lecture, so I skipped Microbiology class. I skipped my workout today too. And I ate half a package of my favourite Ritter Sport dark chocolate. AND I FEEL AWESOME. Rest is good. Being able to write a diary entry is good. Being able to express how I feel is good. Making time for myself is good.

ANOTHER thing that I have learnt is that being a Christian, it is totally fine to say that you're not fine. I just dislike it whenever people preach that being a Christian means that our life will just be sunshines and rainbows and whenever you feel sad you shouldn't express it because it means you're somehow not being grateful to God. Because the truth is, we have tough days too and I believe God wants us to be honest with our own emotions and feelings instead of masking it with the fake perfect image that all Christians live happily ever after. It is simply not true.

Okay, enough ramblings for today. Hopefully my next diary entry will be a happy one! :')