Was clearing up my laptop's memory and I found this...

This is a letter to the 19-year-old me.

Hi, and welcome to 2015.

You might be horrified by the fact that you’re going to turn 20 very soon, 5 days after new year in precise. I want you stay calm, and listen to this piece of advise from a 20-year-old you.

I know, last year was not a good year for you.

You were unhappy, you were down, you had low self-esteem and low confidence. You used to be hopeless about future and you have no control over your emotions and sadness. I know you’re intimidated by the responsibility of being a young adult. You are expected to score high in your grades in college. You are expected to finish your assignments ahead. You are expected to stay healthy and exercise regularly. You have to pretend that you’re happy when you were seriously homesick. Walking around alone in the big city, you were scared, you were afraid of getting lost. 

I know you bottled up your feelings and hid yourself inside your small room like a hermit crab. You were scared to let your friends and family to know that you were depressed because you want yourself to look fine. You wanted your family to think that you were doing good. Every time your parents called you in the phone, you will always tell them you’re happy.

You started to lock everyone else out of your door. 
You started to eat alone. 
You stopped talking to people.
You stopped smiling.
And at the end, you became numb.
Numb about life and everything.

But now, in this very moment,
I want you to cry when it hurts.
If it hurts to keep everything you’re feeling bottled up inside, I want you to let it out.
I want you to surround yourself with your loved ones and let them cheer you up.
I want you to believe that life gets better, no matter what.

I want you to stop comparing your life to others.
Everyone has different life stories and you can make yours wonderful.
If you are unhappy with the way you are living your life, change it.
Setting a goal for yourself and make it happen.
Let it go, trust yourself, fall in love with everything you do, be fearless and be strong.

You deserve to be happy.

your 20-year-old self.


Feeling a bit nostalgia right now as I am reading through this letter.
Sadly I wasn't living my 2015 life to the fullest,
but I still have 5 months for myself to make a comeback.